Let’s face it—when our clothes come off, very few of us look like gorgeous, air-brushed underwear models. Yet society does a pretty great job of convincing women the world over that they have to look as close to perfect as possible to be considered hot. Even gorgeous and successful actresses get criticized in tabloids if the tiniest bit of cellulite shows up on their thighs. When you feel as though your body more than pales in comparison to them, getting undressed for sex can be a truly dreadful experience.
So what can you do about it, short of undertaking a painstaking diet and an overly-intense workout regimen? After all, in a world where we’re bombarded with overly retouched photos of perfect-looking women who get paid to stay in great shape, it can be almost impossible to feel as though we measure up. With that in mind, the first thing you have to do is work to have a more realistic body image. Remind yourself over and over of all of those models’ and actresses’ insane exercise commitments, of their crazily strict diets, and the fact that they usually STILL have to be airbrushed in their photos despite all of their hard work. Then look around you—most of the other women in this world are perfectly imperfect, too, and plenty of them are happily engaging in sex on a regular basis.
There’s nothing wrong with trying to stay fit of course. Regular exercise and eating right keeps you healthier, and when you’re in good health, you have more energy and a better sex drive. In fact, even a few of weeks of healthier eating and working out can give you a confidence boost, because you’ll appreciate the strength and appeal of your body a little more. Just don’t make a perfect body your goal. Instead, make valuing your body for its uniqueness and usefulness your focus. Get in touch with your body, flaws and all.
You’ll have no need for cute lingerie once you learn to appreciate the beauty of your own body.
Once you’ve checked in and reminded yourself that no woman is completely flaw-free, you need to get realistic about what men find attractive. Sure, a lot of men think those aforementioned famous beauties are pretty hot, but they also happen to appreciate a lot of different kinds of beauty. There are plenty of men who like their women curvier, or with smaller breasts, or with a soft belly as opposed to rock hard abs. Some men like bigger butts, some like long legs, and some like short, petite women. Furthermore, most men appreciate that each woman they’re attracted to has her own little differences from the last one.
In fact, if you’re on your way to getting into bed with a guy, odds are pretty good that he finds you attractive already. He’s not going to recoil from you the minute he sees that your inner thighs are a little flabbier than your jeans let on. Not only are guys far more forgiving than we are about our own appearances, but many of them won’t even notice your perceived imperfections. That’s because most guys are just really, really thrilled that you’re letting them have sex with you in the first place. They’re going to zero in on all of your hottest features and the pleasure of getting you between the sheets.
Here’s something else you should consider. While your guy is getting all excited about doing the deed, he’s probably not giving a second thought to his own love handles, hairy back, or skinny arms. You owe it to yourself to be as equally forgiving. If you’re too busy worrying about your supposed flab or purported lack of curves, you won’t let go and give yourself over to the pleasure of the moment. So take a cue from the guys and say to hell with it! Take off all your clothes, leave the lights on, and put all of your energy into satisfying yourself and your partner. The more you work at forgetting about your body flaws, the better you’ll get at it. That means better sex for you and your partner.