When you think about approaching an attractive person of the opposite sex, do your hands get sweaty and does your heart start pounding? Does English seem like a foreign language as you stutter over every word? If you become nervous when you approach the opposite sex, this is the article for you.
Being shy makes approaching the opposite sex a struggle. You need to figure out where your shyness comes from, so you can resist it. You probably have negative «self-talk» which means that your thoughts are self-destructive. Before approaching the opposite sex, you might think things like, «I’m going to make a fool of myself» or «This person couldn’t possibly want to talk to me.» Your chances of being successful are slim if your head is filled with negative thoughts. If you tell yourself that a person isn’t going to like you, they probably won’t, because you unconsciously sabotage the situation with your low self-esteem and nervousness.
Consider your strengths before approaching someone. This will help improve your confidence and allow you to have positive self-talk. Do all of your friends tell you that you’re a great listener or the funniest person they know? Use the traits that people like about you when meeting new people.
The first thing you need to improve is your level of confidence. If you feel self-assured, it will show in your behavior and speech. Most men and women find confidence sexy, and people love to be around others with a good self-image.
Look your best. Wear your favorite outfit and spend a little more time on your hair. Pay attention to your breath. Obviously, you should brush your teeth. Pop in a breath mint before you get too close.
Body language is an important factor in portraying confidence to others. Stand up straight with your shoulders back. When you shake someone’s hand, make sure it’s a firm, strong handshake, and keep your hands out of your pockets. Make eye contact but don’t stare. The other person will recognize your nervousness if your eyes are wandering all over the place. Before you approach the person, try to make eye contact from across the room. Does the person seem interested? Does he/she smile or immediately look away?
«Does God know you’ve escaped from Heaven?» Yak. Have an opening line prepared, but don’t say anything cheesy. People get turned off by pick up lines. You don’t have to say anything brilliant. Just introduce yourself and start talking. You’ll feel more confident if you know what you’re going to say when you approach the person.
Smile when you approach someone of the opposite sex. This displays confidence and invites someone to talk to you. You want to give the impression that you are welcoming and comfortable. When the person begins talking, slightly tilt your head to the side and pay attention.
If the conversation lulls, ask a question that shows the person that you were listening. If the other person told you that they’re going to a concert tomorrow night, ask about the band, other concerts they’ve been to, and favorite types of music. Talk about common interests and make sure to talk about yourself as well as ask questions.
Humor is a good way to someone’s heart. If you can make the other person laugh, you’ve made a connection. Laugh at his/her jokes and funny stories. If you do something embarrassing like trip or drop something, make a joke about it. Having the ability to laugh at yourself is attractive.
Ask for the other person’s opinion about something. Share your dilemma regarding your sister’s birthday gift. Should you get her earrings or a gift certificate to Barnes and Noble? This shows that you care about the person’s opinion and keeps the conversation interesting.
Don’t be afraid to disagree. People expect you to have your own opinions and thoughts. If the person you’re talking to says that they love horror movies but they give you nightmares, tell them comedies are your movies of choice. This way the first date doesn’t end up being a horror movie that you can’t stomach to sit through.
If it doesn’t work out, keep trying. Don’t allow one bad conversation to detour you from approaching others. Go on as many dates as you can to get experience talking to the opposite sex. This will increase your communication skills, so when the right person comes along you are able to impress him or her.