It’s not easy, getting your ex to return your calls. A call back is probably just as hard for him/her, as the original call was for you.
The «love of your life» has just walked out. You know that things between you could be resolved, if he/she would just take some time to listen. But, they never seem available, and you’re not sure how to handle the situation. You don’t want to drive this special person further away. Should you phone? Should you write a letter? It’s a big decision to make.
You feel confident that if he/she would just call back, it could give you the opening you need. And of course, at this time, nothing is more important than being sincere. It may mean working on your own feelings, and resolving any anger that may be hanging on. Relationships are never simple, and when you find that special one, you want to do what’s right.
Establishing a rapport with your ex, when you’re not on good talking terms, can be really hard. How do you find the right words to say? Or what message can you leave that will encourage them to call you back. It’s definitely the #1 question we get from all our subscribers. It’s one that can cause so much heartache, but we do have some ideas that may help, ones that you might use to get that phone call.
It’s important that you understand that this is just one piece of the puzzle, and don’t go leaping off into space without a safety net. It’s imperative that you have a plan in place, so you don’t end up doing more damage to your relationship than if they had never called back at all. A book called The Magic of Making Up will give you a lot of help in this area.
Some things are best left unsaid!
First of all, no pleading or begging. If you sound desperate, you’ll lose your edge. It’s important to keep a light, casual tone. Second, don’t cry wolf. If you try to fake an emergency, when there is none, you’ll lose your credibility, and that’s like taking 10 steps backward. Remember what I said about sincerity. It is definitely the most important thing you can do. If you are honest, and speak from your heart, that truth will carry through, enabling them to really hear what you’re saying.
Appeal to Their Self Image
The magic is to arouse their curiosity, and at the same time, appeal to their self-interest. Did you have a fight? One of the ways you may be able to soothe things over is to leave her/him a message requesting a call-back so you can tell them thank you. Don’t give out any extra information, just that you want to be able to thank them personally. We all like to be flattered now and then.
They’ll have to call back to find out what they’ve done that you’re grateful for, and they’ll also feel good about themselves due to the positive message. And with the curiosity and the self-interest working together, you’ll have a magic formula. Again, just be sure you have a game plan in place before you make that phone call. It must be sincere and credible.
If there is nothing she/he has done recently that warrants the call, think about what you have gained from knowing her/him, and how the relationship has helped you grow. This can give you an opening for a wonderful conversation.
And next, you’ll need a plan. It’s important to understand this part BEFORE you make that first call. You don’t want to be applying this technique without knowing beforehand what your next step will be, or you could end up doing more damage than good when they do call back. What is most important is what you do before and after you talk to them, so you always leave a good impression.